When asked what their ultimate dream was, Ash Musnit and his partner Leslie Ampo-an had the same answer: finally hearing wedding bells. They have been together for more than 18 years and built their own family with their ward–Ash’s nephew–since he was a baby in Novaliches, Quezon City.

In 2021, they were part of the first batch of LGBTQIA+ couples to have a commitment ceremony as part of the city government’s initiative. On February 17, they received the first batch of the Quezon City Right to Care Card (RTCC) along with 14 other same-sex couples. 

The RTCC, which is a power of attorney, allows couples to make medical decisions for each other during times of incapacitation.

“Masaya kami kasi hindi naman lahat ng LGBTQIA+ couples ay may pera para maasikaso na magkaroon ng power of attorney ang partners nila,” Leslie said. “Pero syempre, ang gusto talaga namin ay magpakasal.”

While the RTCC gives Leslie and Ash some privileges that heterosexual couples have, their rights are limited within the city only. At the national level, anti-gender discrimination protection remains elusive.

For Better, For Worse

Ash and Leslie never had a coming-out story like most members of the LGBTQIA+ community. They recall just “clicking” in high school and later learning about their identities together. It took Ash years before he finally identified as a transman, while Leslie identified as a bisexual woman.

What they share with most members of their community, however, is their familiarity with discrimination. Being raised in a poor area of Quezon City where everybody knows everybody, they both received lewd comments from their neighbors and friends.

“Nung mga panahon na yun, hindi pa masyadong napag-uusapan yung mga ganitong bagay, lalo na parehas kaming galing sa Catholic families,” Leslie said. “May mga lalaking tatanungin ako bakit daw ako pumatol sa kanya (Ash), hindi daw ako magkaka-pamilya. May mga kaibigan din na tinalikuran na namin kasi hindi nila kami kayang tanggapin.”

A 2023 study by a De La Salle University researcher showed that female LGBTQIA+ members in the Philippines face an even higher risk of discrimination and mental health issues compared to their male counterparts. This is mainly attributed to the sexual and hateful remarks regarding their sexuality.

On top of this, an outlook on Filipino transmen's mental health situation is “virtually nonexistent,” according to a study by a researcher from the UPD Department of Psychology. This is because, without legislation that recognizes the queer community, their access to basic rights to health care will also be unachievable.

Leslie’s efforts as the current president of the Lesbians, Bisexual Women, Transmen, and Queer Women Organization against Violence and for Equality (LOVE), an advocate group at the grassroots level of Quezon City, has achieved passage of gender-equality ordinances in barangays. But without much support through recognition, they battle to amplify their calls.

“Wala kaming pondo, tapos syempre kailangan naming mag-trabaho so minsan nahihirapan kaming iakyat yung mga advocacies namin sa iba pang offices,” Leslie said.

For Richer, For Poorer

In 2014, the Quezon City Gender-Fair Ordinance was passed after years of campaigning by organizations, including LOVE. The ordinance was geared to provide affirmative action for the LGBTQIA+ community in employment and other services. And while LOVE acknowledges the contribution of the ordinance in their campaigns, their rights and identity can only be acknowledged within the enacting city.

“Nung minsan, tinanggap ako sa trabaho sa isang job fair sa Quezon City, pero yung workplace ay nasa Valenzuela tapos sabi nila hindi daw nila ako tatanggapin kasi trans ako,” Ash recalled. “Minsan naman, pipilitin ka magsuot ng palda. Kailangan kong mag-trabaho pero hindi ko kayang i-compromise yung identity ko.”

Ash, left without much choice, was forced to take on a P250-daily wage job in a burger shop. Another opportunity he tried was a factory in Valenzuela City, but the working conditions made him quit eventually. This is a far cry from the already measly daily minimum wage of P610 in Metro Manila.

“Si Leslie nakakapag-trabaho kasi straight-passing siya, pero ang unfair ng ganun for me and yung mga kasama namin na trans din kasi napagkakaitan kami ng opportunity dahil lang hindi kami kamukha ng mga straight,” Ash said.

Situations like these, for LOVE, show how the government fails to address the dire need of their community to live on a daily. Without same-sex marriage, Ash and Leslie are not legally considered a family and are therefore excluded from household benefits given to heterosexual couples.

“Nung 2020, sobrang lala kasi hindi kami makalabas so walang pera, tapos hindi kami inaabutan ng ayuda galing sa barangay kasi hindi raw kami considered na household,” Ash said.

Since 2000, versions of the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Expression (SOGIE) Equality Bill have been introduced and blocked, mainly by lawmakers arguing religious bases. 

The 19th Congress version both in the Senate and House of Representatives is the latest attempt to finally pass a bill that advocates hope will later pave the way for same-sex marriage.

“Sa huling sandali ng buhay ko, gusto ko sa kanya ako uuwi. Kung kasal kami, hindi namin kailangang matakot kasi magkasama kami at kinikilala kami,” Leslie said.

Til Death Do Us Part

The United Nations Development Programme, in a 2020 report, said that both the local and national governments are failing to address the issues plaguing the rights of LGBTQIA+ community, both in their work and visibility. Because without formal recognition of their role in the Philippine society, they will remain invisible and scraping the bottom of the barrel, such as the RTCC.

Leslie and Ash fondly call their pets their children, alongside Ash’s nephew who they have been taking care of since he was a toddler. Now that their child is 17, they both envision a life where he could be free to live and love.

“Bata pa siya, so hindi pa naman alam kung ano ang identity niya. Basta kami naka-suporta lang sa kanya,” Leslie said. “Pero anumang maging pagkakailanlan niya, gusto ko na kapag lumabas siya, hindi niya isipin na may mali sa kanya o matakot siya, kasi pwede niyang mahalin kahit sinong gusto niya.”

Nineteen senators and a growing number of representatives have been supporting the SOGIE Equality Bill, in addition to the numerous advocacy groups. With this, Ash and Leslie hope that they will get to have the wedding of their dreams soon.

“Obligasyon ng gobyerno na ibigay sa amin ang basic rights. Hindi naman special rights ang hinihingi namin, gusto lang naming ikasal,” Leslie said. “Kaya nagpapatuloy kami na lumaban para magawa din namin lahat ng nagagawa ng straight couples.” ●